How To Write Your Own Wedding Vows

Wedding Vows are easily the most emotional and personal part of any wedding ceremony. They are the words that marry you, that promise your life-long commitment to each other, and give so much meaning to every part of your relationship following your wedding day. You can choose to go the traditional route or you can mix it up! So many couples are all about expressing their love for each other with custom vows written themselves or from non-traditional vow readings.

Writing your own vows can be one of the best ways to personalize your wedding day! But writing vows can be more difficult than it sounds. You might be wondering; “Where do I start? What should I say? How should I say it? How do I say it without crying?”. Expressing your intimate emotions and sharing them in front of loved ones may feel like a daunting task – which is why we came up with these 3 tips for writing vows that are so perfectly you.

 

{Photographer: LUMI Photography/ Venue: Beatnik Studios / Florals: Scarlett and Grace}

 

1. Think about your Vow Structure + Style Beforehand

When writing your own vows it is really important for couples to be on the same page in terms of writing structure and length. Although there are no rules, vows that are similar in length, depth, and structure will feel most cohesive.

We always recommend our couples choose to set some ground rules before writing their vows. Some couples choose to coordinate vow style; you could both start with a story, or to both end with “I vow” or “I do”. Other couples choose to set a word count before starting so they can make their vows similar in length. One way to ensure congruent structure without giving away anything to your fiance is to have a close friend {that is good at keeping secrets!} read both of your vows prior to the wedding, which is something we always recommend doing!

Writing your own vows presents so many options. You have to decide if you want extreme romance or sly humor, short and sweet, or long and personal? Feel free to browse around for some sample vows, watch romcoms, read a romantic poem, or do anything else to get your creative juices flowing! The bottom line is that your vows should sound like you.

 

{Photographer: LUMI Photography/ Venue: Beatnik Studios / Makeup: Miss Marissa Artistry / Hair: For the Love of Hairspray}

 

2. Make Them Personal and Write From the Heart

A huge benefit to writing your own vows is that you have the opportunity to make your promises and I-Do’s personal. Be sure to take some time both separately and together to think about why you love each other so you can put your life-long promises into words. You can write down traits you love, traits you don’t, why you’re excited for the future, when you knew you were in love, your most memorable moments together, what you appreciate in your partner, and so on. It’s also important to actually say I love you in your vows – professing your love and promising your love at the same time.

I know it can be hard to pick and choose what you want to include in your vows because there is so much you could say. My method is to start by literally writing everything down. By writing more than you could possibly need you will get so many thoughts out at once. After brain dumping, sift through for the pieces that are most important to you. If you feel that there is so much you want to say but you don’t have enough time to fit it into the typical 1-2 minutes, you can write a letter to give to your partner on the morning of your wedding day. Writing a letter allows you to share everything with your partner while keeping your ceremony vows shorter.

After you’ve decided what you want to say and how to say it you may think “How do I say it without crying?”. My response is that it’s okay to cry! You should allow yourself to experience and soak in all of the emotions of your wedding day.

 

{Photographer: LUMI Photography/ Venue: Beatnik Studios }

 

3. Practice Practice Practice!

Now that you know what you want to say you need to practice how to say it {preferably out loud}. Speaking perfectly is not necessarily key – what matters is being and speaking like yourself while being honest. One way to accomplish this is to practice saying your vows the way you normally speak. Use the same structure, the same tone, prose, and slang {yes using slang is okay as long as it’s indicative of how you talk everyday}.

When you practice out loud watch out for tongue twisters and run-ons, both of which are easy mistakes to make when writing your vows. You should also be practicing volume and delivery speed. Your vows are supposed to be heard by your guests so be sure to speak clearly and avoid mumbling. To help with this you can choose to write down your vows and read them during your ceremony, but you should still be able to look up and make eye contact with your partner.

I guess more than anything what is important is setting aside intentional time to reflect, practice, and seriously focus on writing your vows – if you do the results will be so worth it.

 

{Photographer: Carmen Salazar Photography/ Florals: Party Petals Floral Design / Hair + Makeup: Polish and Pout}

 

Standing up in front of your friends and family to share your love and life-long promises is a beautiful way to make your wedding ceremony memorable and so personal. Just remember to be intentional with style and structure, incorporate personal touches, and practice! We hope these 3 tips come in handy when writing your own wedding vows.

{Photographer: LUMI Photography/ Venue: Beatnik Studios }
{All Styling + Coordination: Events By Rebecca}
{Feature Photo: LUMI Photography }
{Article Written With Love By Events By Rebecca Blogger: Monica Nelson}

 

Rebecca Ferrick

Rebecca Ferrick

rebecca@eventsbyrebecca.co

Rebecca is the founder of Events by Rebecca, a Boutique Wedding and Events company based in Sacramento, CA.

2 Comments
  • Susan Callahan

    November 30, 2017 at 10:11 pm Reply

    Terrific article! Practical and personal. Keep ‘em coming!

  • Justine capoot

    December 1, 2017 at 10:07 pm Reply

    So many helpful tips! Thank you EBR! I’m so nervous to write mine but this helped a lot!

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